For the third time in seven years I had panicked. On Thursday Martin had proposed and I lost my courage. The two times before, it had gotten as far as making wedding arrangements before I chickened out, but those were doomed to failure because I really couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with either of them.
Basically I can get along with men, but when it comes to actually making that sort of commitment I just can’t do it. First of all I have never met a man who really could satisfy me sexually and who I really felt comfortable with. I mean although I love sex and all that, the guys I’ve been interested in, were just a bit too much into themselves when it came to making love.
Rick was always premature. He would loose it as soon as he was even close to putting his cock in, and would make a mess before he could get even close. Then he would apologize and promise that next time it would be better. It never was.
Jerry was better, but he was a mauler, and always wanted to be the big stud who took charge. I like a little rough sex, but as soon as he got me hot enough to even think about going further, I lost interest. With him everything was me, me, me. And I must admit, I have never had an orgasm by being fucked. I always have to finish myself later if I still had the urge after they finished.
So with Martin, I knew it wouldn’t work, because I really didn’t get that “turned-on” feeling with him. I left him in the restaurant after telling him I couldn’t even think about marrying him, and went home and discussed things with my room mate, Barbara.
Now Barbie and I have made love, and it was good. But I don’t think I want to spend my life with just women either, and she understood when I told her that I needed someone who wasn’t just for themselves, but someone who was tender and caring, sort of like a woman is.
So, as it usually turned out, she put her arm around me and after she soothed me with some hugs and kisses, we made love. As far as oral is concerned, she is fantastic, but I always return the favor using a vibrator while sucking on her nipples.
Now I’m not cold, and I’m not a nympho, but I do masturbate, and sometimes do it a lot. I know exactly what I want, and what feels good, so it always works. And I know I’m not that much into women, because I get off quicker and better by looking at pictures of those hunks in those magazines, as I jill off. So that brings me to now.
Barbara’s cousin has this place in upstate New York on a lake. it’s a cabin in a remote corner of the lake and it was supposed to be vacant for the month, and she thought it would be a good place for me to get away and pull my thoughts together.
When I arrived at the cabin, I was sort of disappointed because apparently someone else had been offered the place. I had driven almost all night and figured I’d stay the night and return home in the morning, but that changed. When I knocked on the door I was surprised when this good looking young guy opened it.
We sort of looked at each other, not knowing what to say. And when he looked at me quizzically, I stammered out who I was, and asked if he would mind if I spent the night. He looked like a little kid as he opened the door wider and took my bag. Then he explained who he was, and I felt like a fool.
He was a sophomore in college and his aunt had offered him the cabin during summer break. I could tell he was nervous about me being there, but hell, I was just as nervous being around him.
Staying over wouldn’t be a big thing because there were two bedrooms but I didn’t know how to handle a conversation with a guy who was probably five or six years younger than me.
That never became an issue, because he was easy to talk with, and actually as the evening wore on, we became good friends.
So good in fact that I got into a discussion about commitments and feeling comfortable about people and ended up telling him about my panic attacks. Oh I didn’t get into the thing about sex, but I think he understood.
Naturally, I questioned him about his girl friends and his relationships. He actually blushed and stammered out that he didn’t have a girlfriend and never really had one that he felt comfortable with.
That prompted my next question, why not? Yes, I was feeling sort of motherly towards him at that point, and really expected some evasive answer, but he surprised me.
“I sort of tense up around girls. I don’t know what to say, and I don’t know too much about the things a girl wants, and you know, all that other stuff.”
Suddenly I was looking at myself. He was afraid of commitments and so was I, then it struck me.
“Haven’t you ever made love to a girl? I mean, your not still a virgin are you?”
Again that blush, and he looked down before answering. “Sort of, I guess. I mean I wanted to, you know, go all the way, but then they seem so experienced and I didn’t want to look like a dunce, so I sort of make up an excuse and, well yeah, I never did it really.”
That’s when I got that tingling sensation that makes my pussy wet and my heart beat fast. I stared at him. A young man, who was a real hunk and never been to bed with a girl.
“So I guess you sort of have to take care of yourself when…….. You know, sort of have to calm down and release your tensions.”
First he stared at me in disbelief, then turned away. The kid was blushing beyond belief, and I felt stupid for blurting something so stupid out.
That’s when I changed my mind. “Would you mind if I stayed for a couple of days here with you Brad? I mean I wouldn’t be in your way and it would be nice to have company while I try to sort out some problems that I have with my own life.” He nodded and poured another beer for us.
That night I locked the door and tried to be quiet as I used my fingers to play with my clit. The vibrator would have made too much noise, and besides, it was sort of cozy just to lay under the covers and think about him, while I let my index finger wobble back and forth across my clit.
Almost before I knew it, I exploded and heaved up. I hadn’t expected it so fast, but it was intense and took my breath away. Normally once is enough, but there are those times when I can cum five or six times if I’m really sexy and this was one of those times.
All I could think about was his face and that muscular chest and I was in another world. I guess this was a five nighter. I came quickly the first two or three times, but the fourth and fifth were screamers. I had to bite on the side of my thumb to keep from crying aloud.
Naturally my thoughts turned to Brad. Suppositions, suppose we made love, suppose I could teach him to be comfortable with me, would he be good in bed? Was he big. Would he make a good lover?
Then I began dreaming up ways to seduce him in my mind and I started imagining how he would act if I treated him as a sort of, student and I were a Teacher. I had begun role playing in my mind. And I decided that, yes, I would try it and see how he would react.
For the first time, I was thinking of being the one in control and planning how I would teach him to make love to me. Not with me just laying back and having some bumbling oaf try to use me to please himself. But to have a real lover who wanted to please me as well as my pleasing him. The next morning I made breakfast and planned how to begin.
I knew I would have to keep it casual, don’t frighten him, but sort of lull him into accepting intimate conversations and contact. The first opportunity came down at the dock around ten in the morning. I walked down looking for him and found him swimming in the lake.
When he saw me he ducked down so only his head was out of the water. I looked on the dock and realized why. His clothes were in a neat pile there. He was skinny dipping and completely nude.
Even before he could protest, I began to undress too. I kicked off my sneakers and pulled out my blouse and lay them down, then I wiggled out of my shorts and panties. He just watched, but said nothing.
“Water cold?” I asked. “Not too.” He answered.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Nooooo I don’t think so, but Ms. Harmon, I don’t have any trunks on.”
“Trish, Brad, call me Trish, and I didn’t think you had any on, but its more fun this way. I haven’t done this since I was a kid.” I quickly took my bra off and laid it on top of the other clothes.
Actually, I was the shy one. I would never ever have even considered doing this if I didn’t have this thing for him. I tried to be casual, but at the same time I was in a hurry to get into the water so he wouldn’t see too much of me.
I jumped in. And found the water to be much colder than I had expected. After a few minutes I became used to it though, but my nipples get very erect in cold water and as I bobbed next to him, I lost my footing and he reached out to grab me. My nipples were suddenly against his chest and I fought the urge to thrust my pussy against his thigh. I was getting lightheaded and just the touch of his hand on my arm had an erotic effect on me. I was letting myself move too quickly.
Looking into his face, I gasped, “thanks, I slipped on something. Is it safe to stand out here?”
“Yeah, he answered. Its just a bunch of slippery rocks down there. Come on, I’ll race you out to that branch sticking up over there and then back if you don’t mind getting your hair wet.”
I’m a pretty good swimmer, and thought I could probably beat him in a race, but surprise, he moved like a fish thru the water and by the time we got back to the dock, I was panting and trying to catch my breath.
He jumped up and turned, sitting on the dock. Then he reached down and put his hands under my arms and pulled me up. That’s when I got my first good look at him. Muscular, tight abs, and thighs that defied description. He was a hunk and when I saw his dick I felt that tingling start again.
Even relaxed, he was large. And I sat next to him trying not to let him see my eyes peeking glances at him.
“Shall we make a run for the cabin, or wait and dry off here before putting our clothes on?” he asked.
“Lets wait, I said. Its warm now and we should dry off fast.” That’s when I caught him looking at my breasts, and my hard nipples.
I surprised myself. I wasn’t self conscious and felt rather flattered that he would let himself stare. Now I’m not big, I’m actually a 36C, but I’m still firm. So I sort of took a deep breath, and pushed my boobs out.
We kicked our feet in the water for a while and chatted about nothing in particular before finally going back up to the cabin. I went to the bathroom and dried my hair and returned to the living room, staying nude.
Apparently he had gone to his room and when he returned, he had put his jeans on. Feeling a bit foolish, I started back to my room to get into a pair of shorts and a top.
“No. Come here Trish. I’ll dry your hair and then you can dress if you want.”
I guess I hadn’t done a very good job drying my hair because I was so anxious to go back out and be with him.
He was sitting on the couch, so I sat on the floor between his knees while he toweled my hair off and ran his fingers thru it. I looked down at my own breasts to sort of reassure myself that I was still perky and firm while feeling his fingers running thru my hair, gave me a rush.
When he was done, I intended to quickly go get my shorts, but I moved in slow motion. I was trying to tease him and at the same time, not seem too anxious. It worked. I could see the bulge in his jeans begin to grow.
I really wanted to stay with him, but it would only take a minute or two to get into my shorts and blouse so I stood and went to my room. When I returned, I decided to make drinks. So far we had stayed with beer, but I was wondering if something a little stronger would put him in a more relaxed mood.
I made two highballs. They were weak, and soon we were chatting about things that were more to my liking.
“So, since you don’t date much, how do you take care of yourself? You know, when you get that urge. Do you make satisfy yourself or can you ignore the need?”
I watched him and suddenly thought, Trish, your going to fast. Better get another drink and make this one strong. Don’t frighten him.
He was squirming. But I decided that if I started telling him about me, he’d feel more like talking.
“You know Brad, everyone needs to relax and release their tensions. I know I do. I make myself cum almost every day. It’s natural and healthy. But sometimes it’s even better when you do it with someone. You know what I mean?”
I guess he misunderstood because he just nodded and said: “Yeah, but you know I haven’t done it with a girl yet. It might be bad for her.”
“No, what I mean is different. If your afraid you might not know how to please a girl, there are other ways you can learn about her. I mean sometimes its better if you can watch her make herself finish and learn what she likes, then when your both ready, you’ll know. And she can watch you and learn what you like. That way you can get over being shy about doing it for real. That would work wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah I guess. But I think most girls would sort of be shy or think I’m crazy to ask her to do that for me. Or me do that in front of her.”
I caught a slight slur in his voice and quickly offered him a refill before going on.
“Well, with the right person, you know, someone you can trust and is willing, it would be a good thing to do. For example, the way we get along. I would feel perfectly comfortable with you, but only because we are so open with each other, don’t you think?”
He stared at me for a moment. I held my breath. “Yeah, I guess, but what if I did something wrong. I mean sometimes I do say stupid things and I might do something wrong.”
“That’s why it would be good with us. I mean we could sort of teach each other. And I know you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with me. I could show you what I like and you would learn what to do. It would be fun and if you like you could even tell me what you like and I could learn too.”
He sipped his drink and nodded.
“Want to try it now, I asked. I mean in the daylight we can see more and I can teach you anything you want.”
“You mean now? Here in the living room?” He asked.
I was practically drooling. I was torn between my need to involve him in sex any way possible, and wanting to hold and touch him. I thought that this brother sister sort of chat would warm things up, but now I wasn’t so sure because he was hesitating.
No one said anything for a while, so I went into my bedroom and undressed and than returned. He stared at me. His eyes went from my face, to my breasts and on down to my pussy. I’m clean shaven, and now felt very vulnerable and exposed. I was becoming more uncomfortable by the moment and needed him to say something.
“Well, maybe we can talk about it for a while,” I offered. “Why don’t you get comfortable too and we can just sit here and chat. That’s a good start, isn’t it?”
He stood up and I thought he was going to take his jeans off, but he turned to go.
“No Brad, here. Take your pants off here. I’ve seen men before, and I saw you out on the dock so don’t be shy. It’ll be all right.” I coaxed.
He stood there not moving, so I came to him and squatted in front of him and unfastened his belt and unbuttoned his fly. He held still like a little child while its mother changed his diaper or something. I think he was becoming aroused and just didn’t want me to know it.
Maybe he wasn’t that excited, but I was out of control. He was so different than the other men in my life. So innocent and not threatening like the others.
I had a problem getting his jeans off. They were tight to begin with, and now that he was getting an erection, I had to reach in and grab his dick and move it out before I could wiggle the pants over his hips.
By now I was drooling. His semi-erect cock was inches from my face and I wanted it. I tried to look down and help him step out of his jeans but my eyes kept wondering up to that shaft as it wavered before me.
Finally I stood up and sat on the couch. Patting the place next to me, he turned and sat. “Now isn’t that better,” I asked.
Yea, Ms. Harmon, er….. Trish. Its better, but I don’t feel right. I mean no one has ever seen me like this and I sort of feel like I’m being bad or something.
“Posh, Brad. Just sit back and touch yourself. Its perfectly natural. Slide your hand along it and make yourself hard for me. It’s ok and I want you to show me how you make yourself cum. OK?”
He nodded, and I took a deep breath. I wanted to reach out and grab him, or put his hand around his cock for him, but regained control.
He finally began to stroke his shaft. Being circumcised, his hand just slide up and down the growing shaft and his curled thumb and index finger continuously teased the rim at the head of his cock.
God he was getting big. Ten minutes later he held a rod that was beginning to leak pre-cum but try as he could, he couldn’t finish. He became frustrated when he wouldn’t shoot and his hand moved faster and faster.
I was getting frustrated too, and five or six times started to reach over and help, but sat quietly with my hand held over my wet pussy and watched.
“I can’t do it Trish. Not with you watching. I never did it with someone around like this. I’m really sorry, but that’s how I do it when I’m alone and then I can spurt real good.”
I had to get control of myself. I was so damn hot that I was beginning to tremble. Another drink and maybe he’ll be more relaxed, I thought. Oh hell, I needed one too.
“Keep trying Brad, and I’ll make us another drink. Tell me if you think its going to happen though, I want to watch.” I had decided that if I had to get this kid loaded, I would, but I was going to see him cum before he lost interest.
“Look, Brad, Just relax a bit and watch me. See how my pussy looks? Here’s my clit. It’s very sensitive and has to be touched gently in the beginning. Just like this.”
I began to slide my finger across the hard little pearl now peeking out at the apex of my cunt.
“Watch! See how wet I’m getting? That’s my cum. It makes my pussy wet so it’s ready to have sex.” I pulled my labia apart and he leaned forward to get a closer look.
“Does that feel good Trish? I mean does that make you cum, like I do? What does it feel like? I mean when I cum it’s like a train. It sort of comes from somewhere behind me and rushes forward and I can’t stop it. Is it like that for you?”
This kid was making me crazy, I thought. The things he was saying and asking were almost as exciting as what I was doing to myself with my finger.
“Yeah, its sort of like that, but when it happens to me, I begin to contract in my pussy and my legs get weak and sort of tremble. Its much better when I have something inside me so I feel full. Sort of like having something to squeeze with my pussy. Then it’s wonderful.”
‘Do you have a boyfriend that you do it with? He asked, I mean does he put it in you and make it happen that way?”
“Sometimes, but when I’m alone I have a dildo that I slide in, and that makes it better. Here, let me get it and I’ll show you.”
I got up and started for my bedroom, then paused and turned. “Come on Brad, I’ll do it in the bedroom and show you there.”
I looked back and saw him stand. My dear god he was big and soo stiff that his dick stood up like a pole. He was tan all over except where his swim trunks had shielded him from the sun. There, his buns and cock were like alabaster, pale and creamy white.
By now the sun had set, so I lit a candle and placed it next to the bed. Now I again patted the bed next to me, inviting him to sit. He took his place and as I resumed stroking my clit, he began to caress his dick. Inserting my vibrator deep in my slippery pussy, I began moving it in and out.
